since I have blogged here, but I am grateful for the ability to have a moment to do so. So much has happened since I have blogged last:
About 2 days after my last post, Mom had a follow-up with the cardiologist about her stress test. He went over the details with her and had one question that had no answer: "So. Did they give you the exact date that you had your heart attack?" And that, my friends, is how we found out what had happened. I don't think Mom has allowed it to really sink in that she is now a cardiac patient. She isn't making all the necessary lifestyle changes, and I am so sad for that.... and yet, so glad that she is still here for now.
In early October, I came home from choir practice to have my brother say, "Oh by the way, Mom and Dad are at the hospital. They think Uncle (C) has had a stroke...." My aunt's husband had indeed had a major stroke, and sadly did not recover. Around 4 weeks later, he passed away from the complications, and now my poor aunt is really struggling. This spring would have been their 55th anniversary. He was the first of the line of siblings and spouses to pass, and that is a weird feeling.... it is disconcerting (at the very least) to think that these people who had such looming presence in my childhood are now slipping away. But I see it already ... both of my dad's sisters have had their share of health issues, another brother is diabetic (along with one of the sisters), another aunt-by-marriage has also had heart issues, another has also had a mild stroke (but made a good recovery), and who knows what else is going on that they're not talking about. I'm grateful, however, that they are still around, because it's helping to answer some of the health questions I am facing where heredity may play a stronger part than I think.
But wait -- that very same night, not 20 minutes after my brother said it, I logged onto Facebook and received another horrific shock. A fraternity brother of mine -- only 3 months older than me -- had died that Monday. To make it even stranger, she died on the 14th anniversary of my grandmother's passing .... and buried on the 14th anniversary of my grandmother's burial. Completely freaked me out to realize this (which I did about 2 weeks after the fact). She had just had surgery about 3 weeks before her death, and so everyone's first thought was whether it could be a complication -- an unforeseen blood clot, etc. Even her husband, a physician, was stymied. The initial phase of the autopsy didn't register anything unusual -- no heart attack, no blood clot, no stroke.... waiting on toxicology reports. They think it turned out to be a reaction of some sort to one of the medicines she was taking for her recovery. Another frat brother gone way too soon.
All of this has somehow galvanized me to greater advocacy and educational efforts. I almost feel as if for the last two years of my life, I am being asked by some greater cosmic good to be an agent for this: "educate and advocate" seems to be a mantra that crops up over and over again. And I'm grateful to be in such a place in my life where I feel that I can do this -- I don't know quite how it will all unfold but I know I am looking forward to what is out there.
And as always, I am grateful for every opportunity to make a difference to someone.
